Adventures in Homemaking 2

I'm happy to report that all bedding seems to be doing the job. I like the fabindia enough that I'm going to head out there today and see if they have good stuff for Dara - her bed is being built today and so I'm out of time for dithering. Wish me luck.

Yesterday was get to know you day with Pushpalatha, our new maid. She goes by either Pushpa or Suma, but won't give a definitive answer which she prefers. Her other 'madam' calls her Suma. She is 18 yrs old, married and has a 3yr old son who lives in her village with her mother, not in Bangalore. She does not seem overly upset by this. She finished 10th grade at school, and I think had hopes of something more than marriage at 15. Her English is great, and she reads and writes it too, so we can leave notes for each other if I am not around.

At her other jobs she is not the ranking maid and she seems to quite like being in charge. We started out with me showing her the cleaning supplies I had and asking what else she needed. We made some lists and then did the old divide and conquer to get all we needed. I got some good compliments on my choice of lysol fragrance (rose) and a stern look for only having two loo cleaners and toilet brushes when there are three bathrooms... oops.

We're still waiting for lots of furniture and so we look pretty bare right now. Suma tried to sell me the sofa from next door (I think they are updating), but I assured her that in a few weeks more things would be in the house, and that every day she comes more will arrive... yes that includes doormats, I know, we need doormats.

A little later I got called into the bedroom to see the balcony floor: 'Madam, did you put this water down? (horrified look)'... 'no, it was raining'. We can safely assume I'll be in trouble if I get caught doing housework. I was given a, 'No, Madam' when I put groceries on an undusted shelf, and then again when I put the spare placemats and napkins on our dining room unit - they have to go in a cupboard. I am under instruction to teach her to use the washing machine and dishwasher,and as soon as we have figured out how to use them without tripping a fuse then we'll be in business. Today could be interesting as the plates in the dishwasher really need to be clean, and so I am working on them in batches, better get it done before she arrives.

The day ended well with Suma and Dara doing a get to know. Dara was swept up into her arms and within 5 minutes of getting off the bus her school bag was emptied of water bottle and snack box [both cleaned] and then neatly in her room. Then it was photo time... I'm currently the wallpaper on Suma's phone, a completely contrived pic of me holding a vase of flowers. That's another thing; we only have two vases which got a sad sort of, 'Oh, Madam'.

That's all for now. I have to see several men about plumbing, electrics and dustbins.

In the house

Just a quick update, seeing as it's late. But we are all in the house now - it's been 30 hours or so and it's starting to feel like home. We got everything out of our air shipment boxes, and have moved the boxes out of the living room, and have only 2 or 3 cases to unpack. We're a bit low on furniture, having a table and four chairs, a sofa and two beds, but we have kitchen stuff and the kids have toys and their scooters, so we're doing pretty well. After a month in the hotel it's been great to spread out a bit, and have home-made meals! The weather is just great, and it makes me very happy to open the doors to our little garden, with palm trees, flowers and fruit trees.

Our maid starts tomorrow - she came by the house last Tuesday and seems pretty nice. My company did a background check on her, which involved an interview, checking her school certificates and other documentation, and talking with previous employers, and she seems to check out pretty well. So Emma will have the next few days learning how to ensure that the house is cleaned six days a week (with marble floors and the general dust of Bangalore you really need it cleaned that often). We also have a new driver who started on Saturday. The last one seemed like a nice enough guy, but he had such limited English that I was concerned he wouldn't be able to handle taking the kids somewhere and dealing with things if someone got sick or there was an accident or even minor change of plans. We also had a couple of incidents when I was in the car (he didn't answer his phone for half an hour a couple of nights ago while I was out with some guys from work, leaving me stranded in central Bangalore, and the next morning he side-swiped the car) so that was enough and it was time for a new driver. Mahesh seems much better so far - we'll see how things go over the next week or two. We haven't yet told the kids that he has a DVD player in his car!

Adventures in Homemaking 1

We have been a little quiet on the blog front - let's blame getting into the routine of school, work and spa...

Things are going well with the everyday, but that will all get shaken up this weekend as we leave our hotel cocoon and head out to fend for ourselves in our new house. Lots of reasons this is a good thing: more space, we have our own things around us, Andrew can be on evening calls in a more suitable environment, meals are our choice on our schedule etc.. That said, we adults like the simplicity of having no stuff. It seems that most of our possessions are either things for the kids, or related to being in the kitchen. Kindles, ipods and movie streaming mean that we don't actually miss all the books, cds and dvds (yes, we did bring them anyway, I can't get rid of books, even some of my high school text books are still in storage with my parents).

The villa is going to take a little getting used to - the layout is so different from our previous homes, and we'll be sleeping on a different floor from the kids. We're used to that since Toby got his bachelor pad in Mpls but this will be new for Dara. Also, our villa is one of the older ones in the community and the kitchen/bathrooms have not been updated. Now, any of you familiar with our Mpls house know that we're not leaving behind showroom versions of those two rooms, but the ones here just never quite look clean, even though we know they are. This is more than made up for by the balconies, lovely garden and serene feel of the marble floors. Bonus! our landlord did pay to have an oven installed. Many houses are hob only and a toaster oven if you're lucky, so, assuming we can get through a meal with no power cuts, then this is a good thing. We have all new white goods, so unless there are teething issues we should be fine for washer, drier, fridge, dishwasher and cooktop all working well.

Now, to make this house a home. There's a trick in here somewhere as we want to install curtains and get some rugs, but we don't want to be all in a rush and get things we don't want to live with for two years just because we need them now - also some of these items will ideally be on the container home. Many things in India are cheaper than UK or US, but home furnishings seem not to be. I'm finding it difficult to locate the middle ground. Easy to find over-priced not great quality items, and also easy to locate top-of-the-wallet pieces, but not much in between.

Bedding has been my Grrrrr of the week. To be more specific, kid bedding. Andrew & I are shipping ours, but Toby's somehow did not get on the truck, and Dara is moving from a double bed in Mpls to have a room with two singles (more flexible for sleepovers and other guests). When we decided what to bring I had visions of wonderful stalls with great cotton sheets for small money and intricate bedspreads. No idea if that was ever a reality here, but thanks globalization for introducing different aspirations.

I'm not in favour of character bedding, I prefer something generic and then if they like they can have a themed lamp etc., cheaper and easier to change. Toby is a nearly 9 yr old boy. He does not like flowery bedding. There are a few places I have been to look for him, but they all seem to sell the same brand, and one place will have the sheets, but not the comforter, and then I can't remember where it was the best price and then it takes 45 minutes to go anywhere, so I got a little overwhelmed and went to buy shoes... for Dara. Did I mention that plain affordable sheets and comforters don't exist? Just a lot of pattern, which I'm not against, but it takes more work to match it all up as they don't sell it together. In the end I found some really funky dotted bedding in blues/orange/beige which will work in his room here, and also in his Mpls room if they are in a condition to bring home. The comforter is OK, it doesn't match as well as I thought in the store, but then as I say, Toby is a nearly 9 yr old boy, and if he does notice, he won't care.

Dara's new beds do not arrive for another 10 days or so, and so I have some time to check out some of the leads I have from Andrew's local coworkers. Single bedding is way harder to find than double, especially if you do not want Barbie or Hot Wheels.

Our interim bedding, which will eventually be in the guest room, was a hard effort only in the sense of having so much choice :) It was really tough to come home with only one design. I was willing to push the boat out a little on it as we're less likely to change our minds about it, and as I was investing in matching curtain panels, it will all transfer back to Mpls with us. I got some plain sheets and a quilt from Fabindia which are soothing and lovely to look at. Next challenge will be lamps...

So, life is good. No major meltdowns or hurdles. Now I'm off to check that our new fridge has been installed and then as the sun is out for the first time in a couple of days, I think I deserve a bit of a rest on a lounger.

Independence Day Henna

This is the start of my second week at work in India, and rather nicely it's a long holiday weekend, as August 15th is Indian Independence day. I really enjoyed my first week last week, but it was really exhausting getting used to longer work hours (more evening calls and later meetings) and new culture, policies and accents. So it's been great to have a really refreshing weekend. Today was just great - we had a nice breakfast, then had a couple of hours in the pool. Yesterday Dara worked out how to swim by herself, and she still remembered how to do it today - she's really pleased with herself.

We had booked a table for lunch at our local mall, and because we'd given the driver the day off we decided to walk over. It's a very pleasant 20 minute stroll and really nice not to be driven around for a change. Some parts of town can feel a bit intimidating when you're about as a family, especially with fair-haired kids who get a lot of attention - yesterday we went to a park in the middle of town and were asked for money several times, and a couple of people took pictures of Dara because they were fascinated by her blonde hair. It didn't feel threatening at all, but it's nice to be left just to get on by yourself. Whitefield, where we live, is much more relaxed and there are a lot more expats, so we were totally left alone today.

Once we got to the mall we had a bit of time before the reservation, so we asked Dara if she'd like to get henna hand tattoos, which is something she'd been asking about for a few days. It was only Rs100 per hand (I would guess cheaper for locals), so I said that she should have both done. She sat really still while the guy did the patterns:

Basically they put henna paste on, then let it dry for about half an hour while the henna dyes your skin. This meant Dara wasn't allowed to touch anything for 30 whole minutes:

By this time it was time to go to the restaurant - Toscano - which is a really good Italian place. As soon as you walk in you can smell the pizza ovens working their magic, and there's loads of space around the tables. Very nice. We had a fine meal - the kids had pasta, and they were thrilled to get pesto which they hadn't eaten since we got here. I had a great chicken and mushroom pizza and Emma was overjoyed to have tuna pizza. It's really common in the UK and Europe but for some reason has never caught on in America, even though every American we know who has tried it has loved it. We also had a tasty bottle of wine, because why not. For the first few minutes Dara still wasn't able to use her hands, so she got a straw for her water, and Emma fed her, which I think Dara secretly enjoyed. Then it was time for her to wash the paste off her hands, and behold:

The guy had done a really nice job of choosing a pattern which complemented her shirt, and she's really happy with it. She's really looking forward to showing off her patterns and her swimming at school tomorrow!

August Paintball

I wanted the India experience to be reasonably full of things I've never done before. One thing I didn't expect was that this would include going paintballing for the first time. One of my friends here is really into paintball, and there's a place not too far away which has a paintball field, plus a big climbing wall and a skate park (which Toby will really enjoy). As you'll see from the album the other guys were all quite a bit bigger than me - some of them are IT guys, but a couple looked pretty serious about sport and stuff. (click on the picture below to get to the album)

August Paintball

So I was sure I wouldn't be nervous. Getting ready was kind of fun, although the borrowed masks were pretty stinky. Fortunately one of the guys had brought some disinfecting wipes, which helped. The games were a lot more enjoyable than I expected - I got really into it, and it was a lot of fun hiding behind the barriers, and reaching out to take a shot. I had been warned that it hurts when a ball hits you, and it's really true - I got a few on my thighs, and a bunch on my upper arms, which have left some great bruises. The only one I was worried about was getting hit on the hand, but after it going really dark purple right away, it seems to be just fine now.

Anyway, it was a ton of fun and a good way to meet a bunch of the other guys here. I'm reasonably sure I won't be a fanatic, but might give it another go once or twice.

My first solo outing

No sun, pool and lounging today. Oh no. Have driver, will travel.

First item was to get the family admin out the way:

Laundry - check

Kids to school buses - check

Toby's Tae Kwon Do form filled in/out/up (delete as local sensibility requires) - check

Purchase Tennis racket for Toby - check

Purchase snack boxes to prevent banana mush in school bags - check

Then:

Prepare for unknown length of car ride; biscuits, water, mints - check

Ensure available head covering in unlikely event I need one - check

Explain destination to our driver.

I had decided to head to St. Mark's the Anglican/Church of South India Cathedral. Any readers who were present for some of my first lectures at St Andrews will recall the Church of India being held up as a poster child for Protestant Ecumenism.

Quick side note: I have been surprised by the very visible Christian presence here. Lots of evangelical/non-denomination missions around. Today I saw a sign for the 'Reapers of Christ'. Will not be joining their Bible Study next Wednesday - partly as it is in Tamil, but mostly just... well...

So we're in the car heading for MG Road. Our driver is Roman Catholic and so he seemed pretty relieved that one of us was finally requesting a Church destination. He still had no idea exactly where it was we were going, and the fact it is right by the cricket stadium was helpful, but not interesting to him - turns out he really likes soccer and is highly amused that I like cricket.

We eventually arrived and after some negotiating with the security guard we were allowed into the grounds, and I was given the OK to look around the Cathedral itself. Not much in the way of literature, but I did pick up a copy of the 'Central Diocese of Karnataka Nurture and Witness Committee Mission and Evangelism' pamphlet. I'm guessing the former Congregationalists named that :)

It is by no means a perfectly kempt building, but the light in there is quite wonderful. White walls, judicious staining of windows - what a treat. And CHAIRS! A Cathedral with chairs, as I believe they all should be. I may not always get inspired by what gets offered, but I do think all Churches should have flexible worship spaces and Cathedrals have an obligation to lead the way.

They also have what appears to be a modern sound system and some strategically placed flat screen TVs for the folks that maybe need to see around corners. Anyway, I took a few pictures and you can see them here. I did not get one of the kids playground or the Rectory/Manse/Parsonage or whatever they call it. If you're visiting, then leave time to get to the loo - it is far off in the corner of the admin block... reminded me a bit of the time Toby had I found locked toilets during a Bermuda Church service and he had to pee under a tree in a thunderstorm. Happy Days.

A good first day out. I counted at least 6 very appealing shoe shops from the car, and many more silk emporia.

Today I was unfaithful...

11 years; 4 children; brown, red & blonde; super short to mid-length; the pain of growing it out; the joy of thinking maybe I don't hate my hair after all.

Tami: 2 years is too long to wait, and today I tried out someone new.

The hotel has an attached spa - not super fancy, but it has a pleasant atmosphere and lots of smiley assistants all eager to upgrade me from trailing spouse to trophy wife. After a successful back-to-school cut for Toby I decided to give it a go myself. It has been a while since my mop was cut - the lovely Tami recently welcomed her second baby girl, and so unlike Tami, my haircut was overdue.

A promising start: lemon tea, magazines, calm music. Phase 2, great hairwash. I especially like that they have a separate assistant to clean the sink out after you're done. The arrival of the cutter, Dolma. Her English is pretty good, so we had a chat about my hair. I'm always up for trying something new as it grows back, and, many of you may have noticed, it actually doesn't matter how it gets cut because within about 8 weeks all the kinks have worked their magic and I look exactly like I did before the cut. Also, now I have been without glasses for a couple of months I figured it was a good time to experiment.

So - I gave her the guidelines:

Husband likes it off my face, and he likes to see my neck

Not too short, as even though I like it at the time, I always change my mind and the pain of growing it out makes me vow never to do it again. I stood strong today.

Watch the crazy double widow's peak in front - it can destroy any style you think looks good.

I don't spend hours blowdrying

After that I said she could do whatever she thought would look good.

I liked what she described to me - not hugely different from how it has been for a while, and while I'm open for new, safe seems to be a good option too - for a first time out.

So... the result? Well, probably no pictures for now.

There seems to be a worldwide hairdresser conspiracy that results in variations of the bob being the only cut people are willing to give me (Tami, you are the exception to the rule, and I love you for it).

I don't look good in a sleek bob, even one with a layered back. Remember the crazy widow peak? Yeah, NOT bob material. Those minutes you spent with a paddle brush and blowdryer? Never going to be in my life. I could find the time, but I do not have the skill. Also, I love my mother - she's a beautiful woman - but I don't really want her [circa 1988] looking back at me from the mirror.

I do love the feel of all my silky hair, and I will appreciate that for the rest of the day, it will be gone tomorrow. The back looks nice, too. We'll see how it all shakes out in a couple of days. I think the thing is, that it doesn't complement my personality. I can be a little uptight, and so maybe the sleek thing over-emphasises that in my mind. I like to think you can look put together and still let a bit of the off-beat and disorganised parts of your character shine through.

So, a B- for haircut. I'll also be grading manicures, pedicures, massages, facials and assorted other delights as the weeks go on.